:: Emotional Void ::

:: Thursday, November 21, 2002 ::

*black widow*

(Hopes and dreams....)

Had quite a long chat with meisan this morning on icq. She is doin fine in scotland.i miss dat gal...~sigh
She has been telling me bout her frenz in school. there are only a handful of asians in her class. there is this supposed guy from venice who has been really chummy with the asian students....yea, all of them...except her. and the hurtful thing is dat she sorta of hav a thing for him.

from the stories i heard bout him, he pretty much sounds like a jerk to me. he juz totally ignored her; like as if she didnt exist! wat the hell is dat about?!! anywayz, i wish i could go there and tell him off. and she isnt doin too well in the friend-making department. she has always been quite an independent person back when we were in the same school...but it must be tough to be all alone in a foreign country. and she has to deal with a jerk in her class. gosh! i really hope things wil turn out for the better. she deserve to hav more caring frenz ard if she were to survive sane from the 2 years studies.

i truly do admire her guts. going there all alone with no frenz or relatives. i wouldnt knoe wat i would do if i were in her shoes. which brings me to australia. the plan to study there next yr. hav been planning for it with my frenz. we are to get our ass there next yr no matter wat!
but then alas, so far it has juz been hopes. i cringe at the thought of hoping for something...coz most of them juz dun come true.(at least for me..) and when they dun come true, it hurts, hurts real bad.
...but somehow, u neva do learn ur lesson. juz cant help urself from hoping again...and the vicious cycle continues....

there is juz no end to hoping. u hope to be with the perfect guy, u hope to find the perfect guy, u hope to be a better person..etc..there is juz no end to the list! and when ur left pondering by urself, u juz cant help but wonder...'wat if my hope did come true?' ,'wat happens next?'. now, once u start thinking bout dat, u wil start gettin all sad and upset coz u wil neva know..

although i know this sad fact, i still hope...but i try my best not to. it aint good for my health:)

got an e-mail from poetry.com a few days ago stating dat my poem has been entered as a semi-finalist. and it is gonna be featured in an upcoming book they are gonna publish called 'letters to the soul'. can't believe dat they actually liked my poem. its a wonderful surprise...:)

:: black widow 11/21/2002 12:16:00 AM [+] ::
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